A Mothers Opinion-Part 2

Renee,

If by some chance your wondering what prompted this angry letter it was yesterday. I came to your door and knocked twice loudly, knowing you were right there talking on the phone. You chose not to answer the door. When I asked you later that day if you heard me, your reply was yes but I didn't answer because I was on the phone. You also chose not to inquire later as to what I needed. Really Renee, is this the way most mothers are treated? Is this the way you expect your kids to treat you? Perhaps Jesus was knocking on your door with and through me. Check the Bible!

Yes, I am angry and hurt. I didn't expect to have to keep up with your shitty attitude. I also don't think God expects me to either. At least not without saying my piece. This past year, look around, who has helped you most, with what they have and through everything else going around here. It's not your dad, Michele and Tim, Diane or Tom, the church, it has been me. Your living in my house, using my stuff (yes, the very stuff you call my idol), you have damaged my stuff with little care, I paid your utilities until November so as to not have
your heat and water shut off. Only to have you snap at me about it. You only shared with me that it was being turned off, not anything about an appointment with Bruce. I thought I was being kind to you.

I have listened to you "cry" about Laura and Ken. I have listened about the pain in your back. I have listened about your paychecks. I drove you back and forth to work when it was all I could do to watch your pain while I dropped you off. Trying also to keep my own pain in control. I went with you to Tuesday night classes the first few months so you'd have a ride. Where did you think I'm getting gas?

When you were so sick in November and Chad ran off, who was it that brought you food, help you off the chair to the bathroom, slept on the couch. Was that the woman at your door yesterday? When I had the flu at Christmas for five days where were you. Did you even know or care  that while I could barely get up to make food, my dear friend was in the hospital getting blood transfusions to save his life and I couldn't be at his side? I realize you can't understand any of this!

When your purse was stolen and you were upset, who helped you look for it, searched the church for it sympathetically with you, prayed about it, Chad? No, me. The one who didn't steal your gas cards. When my jewelry was stolen and I came over to tell you, you didn't so much as come back to my house with me, or go to the police with me or talk to me afterwards. Who was right there when it was happening and wasn't supportive. Oh, sure, you run around Toledo with a  picture of Chad to all the pawn brokers. Why not take me with you or at least the pictures of my jewelry. The way you have been acting who knows what you were
doing.

Why don't you think over your whole life, step by step and see who was really there for you? Am I throwing things up to you,yes, I sure am. I'm mad. I'm tired of your treatment to me. I'm sick of putting up with it and keeping my mouth shut. I'm sick of your total lack of consideration and communication.

Who sat at your garage sales and gave you all the money. The flea market in Elmore and made no money, so you could work and be at church. Who paid for the dumpster, who helped with the spiders before leaving to Maine. Who's things in the garage were sold while gone, when Lenny web knew which things weren't going but again because of lack of communication you say your usual" I didn't know. You think your so smart having the dealers over while I'm gone, well guess what Renee, They robbed you , that's the name of the game. You should have gotten four times as much. As you might be able to tell things have been building up in me. I am sick of your treatment.

Your baptism! I was sick to my stomach watching you. Barb said you wanted everyone to see the improvement in you. (something like that) what improvement? I remembered how you very nastily said you didn't want to be baptized with me and then I have to sit and watch other families thrilled to be together on their day. At that point I didn't want to part of your show. OK! I wasn't, was I, you hadn't even asked me to come.Then when I get home there is a message from you Saturday evening asking if you could pick up Jacob. Your calling me when you hadn't even talked to me since my jewelry was stolen. You have the nerve to ask me for more when you can't even say one, not one, I'm sorry mom about Don? Even common courtesy should have told you to do that.

All year, until January I did these things because I wanted to help you and in return I left your actually seeming to enjoy my company and laughing together was plenty of return for me. It really shouldn't have been costing you a thing. But it cost me dearly, Renee, because once again you have stomped on my heart. I feel sorry for you Renee, is this why at the age of 38 you haven't experienced all three loves? I don't think you know how!

Mom

June 9, 2010

Of course this was all written before I saw you with Chad on Memorial Day. Why the big secret, is it because you know myself and your family and those at church wouldn't approve? Well we don't!

However I was pleased but confused that you do care enough not to have me blown away in the tornado. Thank You! However in a small sense I have been hit by a different type of tornado in the last three years. I lost Bud, our house, much of my stuff had to be sold or left behind, then Richard broke my heart, then the jewelry. I'm always selling more things for extra money for church, and I lost you and then Don. I feel as if my heart is laying out all over some field too!
Love,
Mom

My Rebuttal
03/27/13
It is unfortunate that my own mother feels this harshly about me. Ever since her jewelry disappeared and Don passed she has resented me. I was in the middle of an important phone conversation when my mother was pounding on my door. I'm sorry if she feels so upset by me not answering the door when I lived 10 feet from her and she could have talked to me at a better time.

If I had a bad attitude it was because I was having a rough year as well. I was very grateful for her help yet when she threw everything she had done in my face it made me upset and not want anything or expect anything from her ever again. I did not damage any of her property. Her grandfather clock needed oil after not having the proper care over the years. Quite the contrary, I cleaned it up nicely and made it a wonderful place to live.

I did not know my mom was sick and yes, I was robbed too. She was not the only one in pain.
As far as the garage sales she said I could have all the stuff to sell in the garage since she was giving it all away anyways before she went to Maine.

In reference to my baptism, she stated she and Vickie did not want to get baptized at Cedar Creek and I wanted to get get baptized by myself. There was no harm in that. All were welcome to come to my baptism, it was not a "show."

Yes, it is unfortunate that I have not experienced the three loves in the correct sequence and of course I would not let her get hurt knowing a tornado is headed our way. Through Christ I am a strong woman, courteous and compassionate and yes, mercy is one of my gifts. It is too bad she doesn't see me how I see me.

I have gone back over my life to see who was really there for me and for some reason it does keep coming back to you, mom. I don't remember you being there much showing me how to be courteous, compassionate or merciful. I remember the pornography, romance novels, see thorough night gowns and lack of affection. So maybe you should also look back over your life step by step and realize that anything bad that you don't like in me, I learned it from you. I love you Mom, I forgive you.

Renee