Unpublished Blog for Refuge for Women 9/16/11

Friday, September 16, 2011

It has been one week since I left the Refuge and it has been non-stop. I was on the road only a few hours on my road-trip to Toledo and the Lord used me to help a friend via phone to have a huge breakthrough on an issue that has been worrying her for years. It felt amazing that the Lord used me that quickly.

I arrived in Toledo just in time to see my children before they left to go out for my sons 9th birthday. I was invited by my ex-husband to join them. I ended up going out to dinner with them and joined them for a small party at the restaurant. My son was so happy. It was very difficult for me to be in the same room with my ex-husband and his new wife but I overcame the anxiety and enjoyed celebrating my sons 9th birthday with him. I consider it a baby step forward to peace within the broken relationship with my ex and his wife.

I hadn't even been back 24 hours and I received a phone call from a possible employer that I was greatly anticipating working for. I was told I did not get the position. It felt like a punch to the gut but I will not let the attack bring me down. I took the hit and continued on.

When I left the Refuge I felt led to stay at the local homeless shelter for women. I was out with Sharon from the Free2BMe Project checking out a job opportunity and she suggested we drive by the shelter to check it out. We slowly drove by and there was women just hanging out smoking in the parking lot. It is in a bad area and it looked very rough. I felt another door shut. When I left the Refuge all I new was that I needed to go to the shelter, I wasn't sure for how long but apparently driving by was long enough for the Lord to show me that that was not what He had intended for me.

I've been staying with my dad until the Lord opened and closed doors.

My thoughts immediately went to an apartment on the east side of Toledo that was vacant that my dad owns. It is a house with three units and one is vacant but the previous renters trashed the place and it needs a lot of work. I continued to pray over it for the next couple of days and I went over and checked it out. I decided to start fixing the place up regardless if I stayed there or not because either way it needed to be done. While cleaning I started losing hope again and was getting overwhelmed. After seeking wisdom from a few different people, confirmation kept coming in that I should stay there. For the past four days my dad and I have been fixing the place up. I am staying with my dad until it's ready. It has no stove or refrigerator and I have no furniture but I know the Lord always provides. My dad so graciously said that I can stay as long as I want so I don't have to worry about moving again anytime soon. This apartment will be a great "home-base" for whatever the Lord has planned for me.

I have a job opportunity with a company called Mission Nutrition which is a Christian based company. I could be a Wellness Trainer-Independent Distributor with the potential to open my own store. I meet next Thursday with them.

I have gone through many different emotions since I have been back: Joy, anxiety, upset, happiness, fear, hope, and relief. It is amazing how in one week so much can happen and change. With Christ I come through it all with peace and confidence that He has everything under control.

Following His Lead,

Renee

Matthew 6:25-27

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

I Surrender All-Newsboys

Words from My Lord

Hold your head up with dignity.
You are a healer with your words, by not crossing the line in the sand-tough love, gentleness, your testimony.
Remember that I rescued you from hell.
You are rich. Tell everyone how rich you are. Not earthly rich, in Christ.
I have seen everything you have done, every word you said and especially the words you didn't say.
Do not be afraid. There is no fear in Christ.
Have no spirit of fear but of power, love and sound mind.
I will protect your ears to hear.
Acceleration of revelation.
My words, I will speak my words from your mouth, your touch will be of me.
You are ready. Be strong. Tell everyone you meet.

John 1:1
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Lost and Found

Birth
My identity is in Christ
Exposure to pornography
Exposure to romance novels
Lack of affection from parents
Media/Rock n Roll
Lost.
Unsuccessful search for intimacy through boys and men
Smoking, drinking
Teenage pregnancy-negative counsel from parents
Married 17-Divorce 19
Physically abusive relationships
Abducted, Raped-pregnancy
Thrown from horse
Miscarriage
Second marriage-3 children
Custody loss after 12 years from first marriage
Verbal, emotional, physical abuse
Lack of affection
Alcohol/drug abuse
Exotic dancing
Son hit by van-survived
Bankruptcy/lost house
Divorce
Lost custody of children
Homelessness
Exotic dancing/prostitution
Assaulted from behind
Unsuccessful search for true intimacy
Rock bottom
Accepted Christ as my Lord and savior
Reborn
Successful search for true intimacy through Christ
My identity is in Christ
Found.

~Pamela Renee Schneider

Watch

You can change your legacy

Watch your thoughts...they become your words.
Watch your words...they become your actions.
Watch your actions...they become your habits.
Watch your habits...they become your character.
Watch your character...it becomes your legacy.

~Sheri Rose Shepherd

A Wife of Noble Character

A Wife of Noble Character

Proverbs 31:10-31

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband can trust her,

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? 
She is more precious than rubies.

    and she will greatly enrich his life.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

¹³ She finds wool and flax
    and busily spins it.
¹⁴ She is like a merchant’s ship,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
    and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

¹⁶ She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
    with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She is energetic and strong,
    a hard worker.
¹⁸ She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
    her lamp burns late into the night.

¹⁹ Her hands are busy spinning thread,
    her fingers twisting fiber.
²⁰ She extends a helping hand to the poor
    and opens her arms to the needy.
²¹ She has no fear of winter for her household,
    for everyone has warm clothes.

²² She makes her own bedspreads.
    She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
²³ Her husband is well known at the city gates,
    where he sits with the other civic leaders.
²⁴ She makes belted linen garments
    and sashes to sell to the merchants.

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
²⁶ When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness.
²⁷ She carefully watches everything in her household
    and suffers nothing from laziness.

²⁸ Her children stand and bless her.
    Her husband praises her:
²⁹ “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
    but you surpass them all!”

³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
³¹ Reward her for all she has done.
    Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Testimony for the Refuge For Women Ministry 8.2.11

Good morning,
First I would like to thank everyone for taking their time this morning to learn more about the Refuge For Women. Your time is very valuable and I thank you for coming. I am personally blessed by your presents.

Myself with Cindy from Refuge after my testimony

My name is Pamela Renee Schneider and I have been a resident at the Refuge For Women now since April 18, 2011. Before I move forward I would like to take you back in time to give you insight on how and why I came to the Refuge.

At the age of eight I found my fathers pornography in which opened a feeling that is only meant for marriage as the Lord designed. I also flipped through the sultry pages of my mothers romance novels. At such a young age, and with no protection from it, my belief system was that to be beautiful you do whats in the pages of the magazines, and a man was going to passionately save me as if living a romance novel. The combination of the two engulfed my boundaries and formed my new identity without me even knowing, a romantic porn star.

Boy after boy, man after man and still empty.

Eventually I became promiscuous, believing that if I conform to what they want, they will love me. But when they left, my self worth was left depleted. Boy after boy, man after man and still feeling empty. Not knowing that only Jesus can fill that void in my heart.

A man was going to passionately save me

I became pregnant at 17, married her father, divorced by 19. I was raped at 22 became pregnant as a result. I was thrown from a horse which resulted in a miscarriage, almost ending my life due to hemorrhaging while losing the baby.
I married my second husband. Shortly after having a son, out of desperation, I started dancing to pay the bills. By this time my engulfed belief system was so warped I saw nothing wrong with it. My husband was okay with it, he even showed me how to dance. I eventually started purchasing drugs and alcohol for my husband with my dancing money and eventually started using as well. I danced for two years. After 10 years of marriage and now a total of three children in the marriage we divorced. I thought I was worthless. My self esteem was so depleted he got everything, including the children.

I was desperate. All I had was my van and some clothes so I drove myself to the club and started to dance again after being out of the industry for eight years. I ended up staying at my mothers to avoid moving to a shelter. I was scared. While at the club a man called me over and handed me a letter and told me that he felt led to give it to me. I glanced it over and put it aside. I forgot all about it yet for some reason I kept it and stuck it in a storage bin of papers. I would like to share it with you now...

My Precious Daughter,
Do not think that I have not heard your plea. I have been with you through it all. I know your heart and your desires.

The time has not been right for me to complete my plans for you. Many obstacles had to be removed to set you free.
But now the time has come and you will be the new person you have longed for. The emotional pain will lift never to stifle you again. Your soul will soar like an eagle and your burdens will melt away.
I have watched and waited for this day my child. Do not let guilt cripple you any longer. Accept my love and forgiveness and forgive yourself. It is time to move ahead.
Love,
Your friend Jesus

About one year later, I was no longer dancing or prostituting yet I was struggling to get food and rent money.
My brother sent me some food from his church so I felt guilty and attended. After a few weeks, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Little did I know what the Lord could do to my life.

While at church I saw a woman I worked with in the club. The Lord told me to say hello. I hesitated but obeyed. She in turn introduced me to the founder from the Free2BMe Project. I started hanging out with her. She helped me and encouraged me to not go back into the industry. I attended a Missions 11 Nazarene conference with her and the Refuge for Women booth was cat-a corner to the Free2BMe booth. I felt prompted to go. Pastor Steve from Lifeline Ministries also prophesied over me that I would get a new name in which I was unsure about what that meant. I prayed over it and two months later I was the 7th woman to join the Refuge. All the beds were full in the house for the first time.

I was welcomed with open arms and smiling faces and felt comfortable immediately. I had no idea what I was in store for but I knew if the Lord wanted me there it would be for the good. My 90 day commitment commenced.
There were many ups and downs, challenges, and healing tears and then my 90 day crossroads was near. I had to make a decision, stay or go. I was scared and unsure. I sat in my room and started to write. I laid my journal down when I was finished not even looking at what I wrote. I heard that small voice say "read it" as I was getting up. I hesitated and heard it again so I laid back down and read it...

Renee,
You will be okay. Don't worry. I am taking care of everything. Everything is happening to you for a reason. I can see everything, remember that.
I am taking care of Ashley, Jacob, Sydney, and Joshua.You need to heal before I can return them to you.
You have to see and understand what has happened to you before you can take care of them. Don't worry about them. Take care of yourself. Focus on me and I will guide you and bless you.
You need to know that what happened to you was not your fault. I am revealing to you what happened but not all at once. It is going to be very painful. I am still preparing you.
Stay where you are. You are safe and loved. Unlike your family, the people I am bringing to you sincerely love and understand your situation. They want whats best for you.
Your family will not understand why you are not going back but the kids will. They are so much stronger and resilient than you know. They are filled with my Holy Spirit. They are future warriors as well. They will follow you. I am growing you into the strong, understanding, loving, independent, Christ centered warrior you need to be for them.
Until I have shown you everything, and your self-confidence is where I need it to be, I will protect the kids for you.
You are a strong woman Renee. Just know that you did not go through everything for nothing. You will help others and teach them the things that come second nature to you. It will be with purpose. You will lead and guide many. You will be loved, respected, and looked up to by all that love you.
Focus on listening to me. Be still. I am telling you that I love you and you are beautiful. I made you just like you for a reason. You are the only one of you I have so take care of yourself, eat right, exercise, and enjoy everyday as I give it to you.
Take it all in. I will bring you the kids when your ready. Rejoice and be glad.
                                                                                                                            I Love You, Your Father

The Lord had given me the answer I prayed for. Until He releases me, as hard as it is to be away from my children, I must stay.

I wrote journals my entire time at the Refuge and I compiled my 90 days worth of revelations. I pray this will help you to see what the Refuge has done so far in my healing process. By being still, away form the chaos of my life I wrote what I titled Renee's Book of Revelations...

~You can't give to somebody something you don't have.
~My life could have been worse.
~Building relationships is a blessing, the Lord is surrounding me with an amazing church family. What an honor and a privilege!
~The Lord has protected me from many unimaginable tragedies.

I am mourning what should have been.

~The Lord has shown me what a "healthy" household is like. I so desperately wanted that kind of life and the Lord revealed to me that my life has been a lie. I was robbed of what life is truly supposed to be like. It is heartbreaking to see what I was robbed of. A beautiful home, the children happy in a safe environment, a husband and wife contently in love. A husband that protects and shows his sons how to love his wife and shows his daughter how her husband is to love her. He sets an example of love and respect to his family. First and foremost he loves Christ.

Satan ruled my dysfunctional home.

The contrast from my marriage is saddening. Satan ruled my dysfunctional home. Anger, fear, sexual immorality.infidelity, alcohol, drugs, hate, bitterness, resentment, no respect, violence and pornography.
The truth? I miss a lie. I am mourning what should have been. My life was a twisted lie from Satan. Without Christ nothing is possible. With Christ all things are possible.
The Lord will give back to me what was stolen.
~I believed the lie of once a whore always a whore and that no man would ever want me. I believed that I was a soiled dove. The Lord revealed to me that He delights in me. That I am His beloved. He loves me more than I can imagine. He is giving me back my self worth that has been completely depleted over my lifetime. He is showing me that there are good God-centered men that will love me for me not judge me for what I had become. I am a new creation in Christ and now I love myself.
~I miss my children.
~I need stability and consistency in my life.
~I am a good mother.
~It is a healthy normal to see this world through God's eyes. It is joyous to witness when a fellow new Christian "gets it."
~Bad in Bad out! Boundaries keep the good in and the bad out.
~Happiness is temporary fulfillment, joy is everlasting.
~I have been changed to bring change.
~I was absent in a situation in which I was forced to be present.
~Hurt people hurt people.
~Pornography set me off path, that's why I let so many people touch me. My boundary was broken at a very young age so I believed that it was normal for people to cross it. I was not told by my parents that it was not okay for someone to touch me. I had no protection. My boundaries have been engulfed and my identity became a porn star lost in the fiction of romance novels.
Lost, rejected, forgotten, broken.
~Isaiah 61.
~I can build healthy relationships, something that I haven't ever had in my life.
~I will not conform. I refuse to be lukewarm.
~I am a saint who sins not a sinner.
~He did not anoint me for me, he anointed me for others.
~Be a gate to release heaven and a doorway for others to receive.
~I am an introvert that doesn't get refueled often enough. If I don't have energy, how can I give. Learning this made me realize and understand why I get so angry or irritable so quickly. It is healthy to withdraw to a healthy point. It is okay to need space, I  do love being around people when I am full. When my tank is empty I get cranky! I am not mean, hateful, or bitchy, that was a lie I was believing. I'm just an occasionally empty introvert!
~Having extra responsibility confirms the confidence I new I already had yet denied in the lie I was believing.
I have been engulfed by the wrong belief system my whole life. My entire existence has been thinking that pornography and romance novels were okay. That was my identity. A romantic, submissive, porn star.
I have no clue who I really am! My identity was the sexual behavior that I saw in magazines and in novels reinforced by unhealthy men in my life. Leaving me vulnerable.
~Renee was lost! Where is she? When did she disappear? My weaknesses are not even my own if I wasn't even there this whole time. That would mean that my sexual promiscuity was never my weakness. The real Renee was guarded and surrounded by this lie. Renee was underneath the lie that did not want to be with all those people. She was the one screaming silently "why are you doing this" during every encounter. I am NOT one of those women in those magazines, novels and movies. Father God, thank you for clarity!
~...As your father did, so do you. One thing can cause you to lose your legacy forever....their eyes were fixed on their fathers idols.

He will be that in love

I will stand up against generational curses! I WILL BE THE ONE WHO BEGINS A NEW LEGACY IN MY FAMILY!
~Life flows out of us not into us.
~The world will stop for the man that God prepared for me when he first sees me. His life as he knows it will forever change. He will be that in love.
~Ichthus concert-I was transformed. I danced the way I wanted without expectations of sex acts from anyone. I was free to dance! Satan deceived me to believe dancing was sexual. What a horrible lie!
~I did not feel loved as a child so I went to others to find it. I would conform to whatever the person liked so they would love me. When they left me I would go on to another, and another and so on not knowing that God is the only one that can fill that void. In this whole process I lost myself and my likes. That explains why I am so indecisive. I would like everything all the people in my life liked and never have known my own interests because of trying to get others love and acceptance.
~The Lord is stripping me down to nothing. I am giving up my Isaac, my children. I am sacrificing my children to follow the Lords leading. I must obey.
~Remember to surrender completely to Him.

Noble Warrior for Christ.

The greatness of a person is direct proportion to their surrender.
Three words others used to describe me-Faith, Obedience, Sacrifice
Nobility?
What is Nobility-Respectful, worthy, honorable, holds within high standards of correctness, sincerity, integrity, truthfulness, humble, beloved.
My new name, my new identity...Noble Warrior for Christ.

The Lord is amazing. Within 90 days at the Refuge, the Lord revealed to me that I have been transformed from what I saw as a worthless whore into my prophesied new name. I now wear my armor of God and am ready for battle. Not as a worthless whore but as a Noble Warrior for Christ.

Friendships

This is an old journal entry I came across. It was written to my old life group...

Thank you Lord for the friendships you have brought to me. These women have changed my life. They have shown me what a good person I am. They have provided guidance, mercy, understanding. When I was headed down a bad path they would direct me and help me see that I need to focus. They make me laugh, cry, and feel good about life. They give me something to look forward to. They delight in me. Imagine that. They do not judge me for what I was but see me for what Christ is molding me into. I am a strong rebel for God and they have said that I have made an impact on them. Imagine that, me, a positive impact on others. They recognize my strengths. How uplifting. Thank you Jesus. Thank you. I am forever grateful. ~Jean, Amber, Kim, Amber, Kammi

Renee's Book of Revelations 7.18.11

~You can't give to somebody something you don't have.
~My life could have been worse.
~Building relationships is a blessing, the Lord is surrounding me with an amazing church family. What an honor and a privilege!
~The Lord has protected me from many unimaginable tragedies.

I am mourning what should have been.

~The Lord has shown me what a "healthy" household is like. I so desperately wanted that kind of life and the Lord revealed to me that my life has been a lie. I was robbed of what life is truly supposed to be like. It is heartbreaking to see what I was robbed of. A beautiful home, the children happy in a safe environment, a husband and wife contently in love. A husband that protects and shows his sons how to love his wife and shows his daughter how her husband is to love her. He sets an example of love and respect to his family. First and foremost he loves Christ.

Satan ruled my dysfunctional home.

The contrast from my marriage is saddening. Satan ruled my dysfunctional home. Anger, fear, sexual immorality.infidelity, alcohol, drugs, hate, bitterness, resentment, no respect, violence and pornography.
The truth? I miss a lie. I am mourning what should have been. My life was a twisted lie from Satan. Without Christ nothing is possible. With Christ all things are possible.
The Lord will give back to me what was stolen.
~I believed the lie of once a whore always a whore and that no man would ever want me. I believed that I was a soiled dove. The Lord revealed to me that He delights in me. That I am His beloved. He loves me more than I can imagine. He is giving me back my self worth that has been completely depleted over my lifetime. He is showing me that there are good God-centered men that will love me for me not judge me for what I had become. I am a new creation in Christ and now I love myself.
~I miss my children.
~I need stability and consistency in my life.
~I am a good mother.
~It is a healthy normal to see this world through God's eyes. It is joyous to witness when a fellow new Christian "gets it."
~Bad in Bad out! Boundaries keep the good in and the bad out.
~Happiness is temporary fulfillment, joy is everlasting.
~I have been changed to bring change.
~I was absent in a situation in which I was forced to be present.
~Hurt people hurt people.
~Pornography set me off path, that's why I let so many people touch me. My boundary was broken at a very young age so I believed that it was normal for people to cross it. I was not told by my parents that it was not okay for someone to touch me. I had no protection. My boundaries have been engulfed and my identity became a porn star lost in the fiction of romance novels.
Lost, rejected, forgotten, broken.
~Isaiah 61.
~I can build healthy relationships, something that I haven't ever had in my life.
~I will not conform. I refuse to be lukewarm.
~I am a saint who sins not a sinner.
~He did not anoint me for me, he anointed me for others.
~Be a gate to release heaven and a doorway for others to receive.
~I am an introvert that doesn't get refueled often enough. If I don't have energy, how can I give. Learning this made me realize and understand why I get so angry or irritable so quickly. It is healthy to withdraw to a healthy point. It is okay to need space, I  do love being around people when I am full. When my tank is empty I get cranky! I am not mean, hateful, or bitchy, that was a lie I was believing. I'm just an occasionally empty introvert!
~Having extra responsibility confirms the confidence I new I already had yet denied in the lie I was believing.
I have been engulfed by the wrong belief system my whole life. My entire existence has been thinking that pornography and romance novels were okay. That was my identity. A romantic, submissive, porn star.
I have no clue who I really am! My identity was the sexual behavior that I saw in magazines and in novels reinforced by unhealthy men in my life. Leaving me vulnerable.
~Renee was lost! Where is she? When did she disappear? My weaknesses are not even my own if I wasn't even there this whole time. That would mean that my sexual promiscuity was never my weakness. The real Renee was guarded and surrounded by this lie. Renee was underneath the lie that did not want to be with all those people. She was the one screaming silently "why are you doing this" during every encounter. I am NOT one of those women in those magazines, novels and movies. Father God, thank you for clarity!
~...As your father did, so do you. One thing can cause you to lose your legacy forever....their eyes were fixed on their fathers idols.

He will be that in love

I will stand up against generational curses! I WILL BE THE ONE WHO BEGINS A NEW LEGACY IN MY FAMILY!
~Life flows out of us not into us.
~The world will stop for the man that God prepared for me when he first sees me. His life as he knows it will forever change. He will be that in love.
~Ichthus concert-I was transformed. I danced the way I wanted without expectations of sex acts from anyone. I was free to dance! Satan deceived me to believe dancing was sexual. What a horrible lie!
~I did not feel loved as a child so I went to others to find it. I would conform to whatever the person liked so they would love me. When they left me I would go on to another, and another and so on not knowing that God is the only one that can fill that void. In this whole process I lost myself and my likes. That explains why I am so indecisive. I would like everything all the people in my life liked and never have known my own interests because of trying to get others love and acceptance.
~The Lord is stripping me down to nothing. I am giving up my Isaac, my children. I am sacrificing my children to follow the Lords leading. I must obey.
~Remember to surrender completely to Him.

Noble Warrior for Christ.

The greatness of a person is direct proportion to their surrender.
Three words others used to describe me-Faith, Obedience, Sacrifice
Nobility?
What is Nobility-Respectful, worthy, honorable, holds within high standards of correctness, sincerity, integrity, truthfulness, humble, beloved.
My new name, my new identity...Noble Warrior for Christ.



Pamela Renee Schneider

Message From My Father

Renee,
You will be okay. Don't worry. I am taking care of everything. Everything is happening to you for a reason. I can see everything, remember that.
I am taking care of Ashley, Jacob, Sydney, and Joshua.You need to heal before I can return them to you.
You have to see and understand what has happened to you before you can take care of them. Don't worry about them. Take care of yourself. Focus on me and I will guide you and bless you.
You need to know that what happened to you was not your fault. I am revealing to you what happened but not all at once. It is going to be very painful. I am still preparing you.
Stay where you are. You are safe and loved. Unlike your family, the people I am bringing to you sincerely love and understand your situation. They want whats best for you.
Your family will not understand why you are not going back but the kids will. They are so much stronger and resilient than you know. They are filled with my Holy Spirit. They are future warriors as well. They will follow you. I am growing you into the strong, understanding, loving, independent, Christ centered warrior you need to be for them.
Until I have shown you everything, and your self-confidence is where I need it to be, I will protect the kids for you.
You are a strong woman Renee. Just know that you did not go through everything for nothing. You will help others and teach them the things that come second nature to you. It will be with purpose. You will lead and guide many. You will be loved, respected, and looked up to by all that love you.
Focus on listening to me. Be still. I am telling you that I love you and you are beautiful. I made you just like you for a reason. You are the only one of you I have so take care of yourself, eat right, exercise, and enjoy everyday as I give it to you.
Take it all in. I will bring you the kids when your ready. Rejoice and be glad.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       I Love You,
                                                                                                                                           Your Father

I have been changed to bring change.

A victim is in the dark.
A survivor sees a light at the end of the tunnel and hangs on.
An over comer becomes the light for someone else.

                                                                   ~Holly Wagner

A Mothers Poem

I sit alone in the dark staring deeply into the wolfs eyes.
I understand the anger in her.
She is in search for her young.
Something took them.
She has them in her sight.
She is going to stop at nothing to ensure that they are safely running with her again through the open fields of wildflowers.
She does not stop, or give up.
She is a wild animal.
She is telling you to give them back.
She will kill.

Branches

Branches

Who can you depend on,
who is truly there for you?
The people you think will be there,
are the people that really are not.
The ones that you think are not,
are the ones that show up no matter what.
Who really cares,
Lord only knows.
During time of need
the faithful will be there.
Allow the Lord to shake your tree of life.
The branches that fall away,
shouldn't be there anyway.

Pamela Renee Schneider

Casting Crowns - Slow Fade

Lady Antebellum - Just A Kiss

Nichole Nordeman & Amy Grant: "I'm With You" - Official Lyric Video

Struggle

Struggle.
That's what I do.
That's what my life has been.
That's what my life has become.
Will I overcome?
Struggle to breathe,
Struggle to feel,
Struggle to give and receive love,
Struggle to pay,
Will this struggle ever go away?
Will I overcome?
I want to breathe,
I want to feel,
I want to love.
I want to recieve back what was stolen,
my innocence, my freedom, my self.
I will overcome.
I will be loved,
and it won't be a struggle.

PLUMB "Need You Now (How Many Times)" - OFFICIAL lyric video