Stripped

Stripped

What is the exact definition of homeless?
What does homeless look like?
How does it feel?
Is there an income guideline?
Am I homeless?
I sit in my car not exactly knowing where to go or what to do. Broke and depressed, I could go to my dads but I try to stay away as much as possible as to not burden him more than I already do. My want and need to be alone keeps me from going there until I absolutely have to. I don't mind sitting in my car, in a parking lot under a street light writing. No one knows I'm here or do they care. Everyone has busy lives that continue as I sit here and write. What am I going to do? I'm thankful my dad lets me stay with him yet my pride makes me stay away. I'm thankful I have a car that gets me to places I need to be. I spend a majority of my time in it. It's starting to get cold. I can't imagine if I had to live on the streets right now. It scares me to think about it but I am only a small step away from living on the streets or in a shelter.

Apparently I qualify as homeless. I'm just not on the streets homeless. I'm a "couch hopper." An adult, unable to provide for my most basic needs. This is not how I imagined my life would be.
I feel alone, unwanted, a burden. Society may consider me a mooch, leach, an annoyance, an indigent. Worthless.

My home away from a home-my car

I get used to spending time in my car. I make use of any gas money the best I can. A family member asked me how I can go to conventions and to church and do all the different things I do. My reply was that my friends paid for the conference amenities, my dad helped with the hotel, adding guilt to the shame. The only way it is possible to make it day by day is by the Grace of God. The Lord provides. He is the only way because I have proven that I can't do it on my own.
The Lord will bring me through this season of duress. I ask my self, could He be preparing me for living in a third world country or for a mission trip by having me stripped down to nothing?
Whatever God has in store for me it will be good. Yes, I am considered homeless on this earth but I will have an eternal home with Jesus Christ. I will never be cold, lonely or feel worthless.
To all of the homeless people around the nation, have peace knowing that our Lord and Savior has a good plan for you in this evil world. He loves you, and sheds tears for you. Cry out to him, ask him to save you, I did, and He saved me. No matter what happens on this earth I know that He is my rock, my center. His Holy Spirit filled my heart and I can rest anywhere knowing that I will be safe in His arms.
May God be with you all.
Be safe out there.

Pamela Renee Schneider
10/10