Time

Time. I have so much of it, everybody does. It is what you do with that time that matters. I wish I could spend my time differently but it is what it is. Unfortunately I am disabled and in pain a majority of my day so it is hard to do many things that I really enjoy. The discomfort of this pain I endure is what I often describe as feeling like rigor mortis is setting in. My whole body tenses up and is debilitating to try to do my favorite things and just the basics. I try my best with and without pain medication. In combination with mental illness it gets to be overwhelming to even know what to do with my time. I get out on walks on my better days and hang out with my friends whenever the schedules are synchronized. I spend a lot of my time writing to keep my mind busy. I am now waiting until it's time for my neck surgery that will take some time for recovery. All my days and hours seem to get smeared and twisted together in a monotonous way that it feels like it is just one long day. Having no division between days hours and minutes makes time go by so slowly. I would love to fill my days differently and hopefully soon I will. My days are pleasant and I do keep my self busy fostering dogs and volunteering with my church in a clothing ministry as to which I really enjoy. Time will only tell what my future holds and what I do with my time is set only by me. I want to use my time wisely as to not waste any because although we have a lot of time we really don't know when our time is up.~Renee