You get what you deserve and that's what I have coming, nothing. I deserve nothing. My thoughts are swirling so fast that I cant even concentrate on one. What is wrong with me? Someone please figure it out and tell me. In my world I am crazy but no one knows my thoughts. I am lost, I don't know where to go or what to do. Just wandering, wondering, what is wrong with me? My past, the lies that no body knows about. Why have I given myself away so many times since I was 15, not sure why. I am in a fog. It is almost like my whole life is not even real. It is just a bad dream I need to wake up from.Yet every time I awake it's the same bad dream. I'm like a zombie, comatose, is this really a bad dream? Could it be possible that I'm in a coma from some accident and this is my dream state reality? Will I ever wake up? When I do where will I be, who will I be. If this is a comatose dream please pull the plug. Don't make me go through this any longer! Can anyone hear me! It haunts me, my own past haunts me. That's not how I wanted to look back and see my life. My future is just me going to continue to mess up my future past. Something has to happen. Wake me up or pull the plug! Please! How much longer can this go on? I am not the independent and strong woman I pretend to be. I feel like a little girl that has no idea what to do. I'm little and I want to climb into my daddy's arms and have him tell me it is going to be okay. Instead I crawl and hide under my covers and cry. No one to hug me, no one to tell me it's okay. I feel like I am six and all alone. Too old for a hug now, too late. Now I am just a disappointment. That's how people see me, that's how I see me. It's too late for a hug.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Too Late For A Hug
03/17/08
You get what you deserve and that's what I have coming, nothing. I deserve nothing. My thoughts are swirling so fast that I cant even concentrate on one. What is wrong with me? Someone please figure it out and tell me. In my world I am crazy but no one knows my thoughts. I am lost, I don't know where to go or what to do. Just wandering, wondering, what is wrong with me? My past, the lies that no body knows about. Why have I given myself away so many times since I was 15, not sure why. I am in a fog. It is almost like my whole life is not even real. It is just a bad dream I need to wake up from.Yet every time I awake it's the same bad dream. I'm like a zombie, comatose, is this really a bad dream? Could it be possible that I'm in a coma from some accident and this is my dream state reality? Will I ever wake up? When I do where will I be, who will I be. If this is a comatose dream please pull the plug. Don't make me go through this any longer! Can anyone hear me! It haunts me, my own past haunts me. That's not how I wanted to look back and see my life. My future is just me going to continue to mess up my future past. Something has to happen. Wake me up or pull the plug! Please! How much longer can this go on? I am not the independent and strong woman I pretend to be. I feel like a little girl that has no idea what to do. I'm little and I want to climb into my daddy's arms and have him tell me it is going to be okay. Instead I crawl and hide under my covers and cry. No one to hug me, no one to tell me it's okay. I feel like I am six and all alone. Too old for a hug now, too late. Now I am just a disappointment. That's how people see me, that's how I see me. It's too late for a hug.
You get what you deserve and that's what I have coming, nothing. I deserve nothing. My thoughts are swirling so fast that I cant even concentrate on one. What is wrong with me? Someone please figure it out and tell me. In my world I am crazy but no one knows my thoughts. I am lost, I don't know where to go or what to do. Just wandering, wondering, what is wrong with me? My past, the lies that no body knows about. Why have I given myself away so many times since I was 15, not sure why. I am in a fog. It is almost like my whole life is not even real. It is just a bad dream I need to wake up from.Yet every time I awake it's the same bad dream. I'm like a zombie, comatose, is this really a bad dream? Could it be possible that I'm in a coma from some accident and this is my dream state reality? Will I ever wake up? When I do where will I be, who will I be. If this is a comatose dream please pull the plug. Don't make me go through this any longer! Can anyone hear me! It haunts me, my own past haunts me. That's not how I wanted to look back and see my life. My future is just me going to continue to mess up my future past. Something has to happen. Wake me up or pull the plug! Please! How much longer can this go on? I am not the independent and strong woman I pretend to be. I feel like a little girl that has no idea what to do. I'm little and I want to climb into my daddy's arms and have him tell me it is going to be okay. Instead I crawl and hide under my covers and cry. No one to hug me, no one to tell me it's okay. I feel like I am six and all alone. Too old for a hug now, too late. Now I am just a disappointment. That's how people see me, that's how I see me. It's too late for a hug.
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