02/05/06
Numb
I am numb. How do I adjust to this feeling of emptiness, this confusion? I want to be happy, I just can;t adjust. It makes me very sad. I feel broken.
What is my first step? I should have a plan of action. So, I guess my first step would be to get a plan of action. And that is...Run errands, clean the apartment and after that I don't know.
Puffy, swollen eyes tell of my sadness. I need to collect myself. I have a good head on my shoulders, I need to get a plan. I must go to bed, I need to get some sleep to be mentally and physically strong. Goodnight.
02/06/06
Funk
Good morning. How do I start my day? I have many things to do but I don't feel like doing anything. Maybe I'll get out of this funk.I don't feel like myself, whoever myself is, I don't know.
02/08/06
Patients
I have to keep this up, it's counter productive if I don't. The children come to see me because they love me, remember that. I need to work on my patience, stop correcting.
02/11/06
Unwind
Write. Maybe I will write, just write what I am thinking, trying not to think about too much at once. I do not want to overload. Maybe I should go out and walk. Maybe not, my excuse, the cold. Just an excuse maybe but for the time being I am enjoying the relaxation and clearing my mind of unnecessary thoughts, focus on the present. When it warms up, my down time will have to be when I walk, jog or whatever I decide at that time when I am out. For right now I use this time to sit and do nothing, be bored. I like it like this for now. The kids are not here, I can do whatever I want yet I choose to sit and do nothing. It seems it is more productive for me right now. Unwind myself. I feel as if I should stand in the middle of the living room and spin counter-clockwise to unwind my thoughts.
No comments:
Post a Comment